The Brilliance of Baker-Miller Pink

Is pink nature's Prozac?

'The brain responds well to pink, claims Vic Sloan a conman. 'It's a scientific fact. Pink is a tranquilising colour. It produces a pattern of brain waives like no other. It stems from our evolution. Ancient man would have seen pink in the sky at sunset and sunrise - at which times, given the ambient light and circadian rhythms, it would have become associated with sleep and relaxation. So if you're trying to keep things on an even keel, pink is a good colour to have around.'

Sloan might be on to something since the success of a particular hue of pink - Baker-Miller pink, or as it's more commonly called, 'drunk-tank' pink - in calming the mood of violent offenders has been scientifically documented in a number of US studies. The research focuses on metabolic changes in neurotransmitters such as serotonin and norepinephrine, or in hormones serving the hypothalamus (the part of the brain that oversees the control of emotion). Reductions in systolic and diastolic blood pressure as well as anxiety levels, have also been reported in detainees, held in rooms both in military and civil detention centres, painted with this colour. Further, following an experiment at the University of Iowa in which the locker-rooms of visiting sports team were daubed Baker-Miller pink to render their players less competitive.

The Western Athletic Conference duly passed a law expressly prohibiting any further such forays into locker-room revamp. The edict couldn't be clearer - in future, it stated, the locker-rooms of both the home and the visiting team could be painted any damn colour they liked as long as they were the same.

Reference: Excerpt from the writings of Dr. K. Dutton